Changing Shades - 21

Chapter 21

Arnav seemed to have taken over her life, Khushi thought dazedly over the next few weeks. 

Every day he picked her up, they went to office, the day spent in working, discussing … laughing, joking, teasing each other like old times - then they would have dinner together and he dropped her back. Within a few days, her life seemed to be revolving around him - she waited for him in the morning, they were constantly together, working, talking, arguing, Lavanya joining in at times, and then he took over her evenings. If they finished work early, he would suggest a movie or a play, or just a walk on the beach. When she wanted to visit the Dewans and Pratibha, he came with her and sat talking with them easily in their small living room, or played with the baby. After so many years of ever-present tension and worry, she felt free, unbound, unfettered, she laughed easily and the shadows under her eyes started slowly disappearing. 

He didn’t say anything about what he had said in Kathmandu, and Khushi was glad for that. She was enjoying the uncomplicated friendship, enjoying being with him, and she didn’t want to change that. It was too soon after Manish’s passing, and she was still trying to get used to the changed equations with the Dewans. With Pratibha ensconced there and unofficially acknowledged as their daughter-in-law, her erstwhile in-laws still treated her like their own, but not like a daughter-n-law, instead they treated her like the daughter she had been for so many years, and especially since the last four years. It was Khushi they turned to, for help in any decisions they needed to make, Khushi who took charge of their finances, their budgeting, their doctor visits. They waited for her weekend visits even more than before, now that Mr. Dewan was on the mend. But did they think of her still as a daughter-in-law and therefore a widow, with all the restrictions that meant? Khushi didn’t know. And she wasn’t ready to find out.

Arnav didn’t know, either, and he was as keen as she was, not to rock the boat. After so long, he and Khushi were back on even grounds, back to their old friendship, and he was content to enjoy the time, and let her set the pace. He came with her to visit the Dewans and saw the easy comfort between the older couple and Khushi, and started see more and more clearly, how close their bond was. He saw how dependent the Dewans were on Khushi, and he knew she felt herself responsible for them completely. Khushi would put them and their needs ahead of her own, he saw that. It was the kind of person she was. And he loved her even more for that. But that did mean that he couldn’t move forward as quickly as he wanted to. He wanted her to meet his grandfather, his only surviving family, but he didn’t want to rush Khushi into anything. She wasn’t ready for more pressure yet. There were things he needed to do first.

****

Three months later, Khushi was surprised to receive a phone call from Mr. Suri.  

“How are you all doing?” the old man asked her warmly, after the initial pleasantries. “You … Lavanya … Suresh …? Have you all settled with Mr. Raizada? Are you comfortable working with him?”

Khushi smiled into the phone. If Mr. Suri had called three months earlier, she would have been hard pressed to answer this question. But now, her voice was warm as she answered in the affirmative.

“I thought I would give him at least six months to settle in,” the older man explained to Khushi, “so I didn’t speak to you about this earlier. I have another offer for the firm, so I have to make a decision soon. But as I said earlier, I need to know if you are happy with Arnav and his style of working.”

Khushi reassured him again, and Mr. Suri seemed satisfied. 

A week later, Arnav came into the office late. He put down a thick file in front of Khushi. She looked up in surprise. His face was serious.

“Go through this, will you, Khushi?” he asked her. “We need to be in court tomorrow morning to sign the registration.”

She looked at him puzzled, and opened the file, while he lounged casually at his desk and watched her.

Khushi went through the papers quickly, and then looked at him in disbelief.

“This says … this says … but you were going to buy over the firm completely, weren’t you, Arnav? What happened?”

“Does this meet with your approval?” he asked her.

She shook her head in bafflement.

“Arnav … what is this? I can’t … I don’t have the money to buy my share … any share …”

“You don’t have to buy it,” he told her, his face closed, almost expressionless. “This is Mr. Suri’s deal with me. You are now part owner of the firm. He has sold me 50% ownership rights. The other 50% is yours.”

She looked at him warily. His earlier words, spoken in bitterness, when they had first met after so many years, came back to haunt her. ‘How do you manage to wind all these old men around your little finger, Khushi?”

Did he still, somewhere in a corner of his mind, think that way? Why oh why?! She mentally chastised Mr. Suri in her mind. Just when she felt she had got back her old equation with Arnav, this had to come up.

“I don’t want it,” she said evenly, not looking at him. “I’m an employee. I work here, I’ll continue working here when you take over. If that’s all right with you, of course,’ she added.

“Ah … but it’s not,” he said easily, and came over to her desk, loping like a tiger on the prowl, she thought fancifully. “Not all right with me, I mean. Neither with me, nor with Mr. Suri.”

She looked at him warily. He didn’t sound angry … but then …

“Why?”

He parked himself easily on the corner of her desk, and looked at her. And this time there was a definite smile in his eyes.

“Khushi, there are two parts to this. One is that from the beginning, Mr. Suri was very clear that whosoever takes over Suri Constructions, has to have your approval. Because he had never intended to sell out his full rights. He always meant to leave you a share. And if you’re happy working with me, then he’s happy to sign the deal with me.  Otherwise I’m out on my ear. And the second part, is what I told Mr. Suri … and he agreed with me when I pointed it out … that making me take over as head, and you as my junior, was not quite fair. We were college mates, same batch … so there is no way that I am senior to you, or you to me. If we work here, we have to work as equals. By giving you 50%, we become equal partners. Both issues resolved.”

Khushi tried to process his words. Fifty percent of the firm … partnership …

The firm made a healthy profit, this would ease her burden of looking after the Dewans considerably. In fact, it would leave her very comfortably off. Her responsibilities would be taken care of, even if she didn’t work again … and if she continued working, she would be very comfortable indeed.

“And … you don’t mind?” she asked cautiously. “You don’t think I … what was it … wound him around my finger …”

“Khushi, please!” Arnav interrupted, his eyes hot. “Don’t make me feel worse about those days than I do already. No, I don’t. I never did. The day we started talking about the deal, he told me how grateful he was to you for carrying his work forward. If it hadn’t been for you, he would have given up the firm a long while ago. That was my ego and my hurt speaking … you know that.”

He got up and looked out of the window, looking out blindly.

“You know, Khushi, I asked him … why you? Why not the Dewans? After all, Dewan uncle is his college friend, not you … And you know what he said?”

He turned back to her, and his eyes were suspiciously shiny.

“He said … Khushi will look after them. She is the daughter they never had.”

Khushi swallowed.

“And if I need any evidence of what he meant,” he went on, his eyes hot and intent on her, “I’ve got it in the last few months, seeing you with Uncle, Aunty, Pratibha, the baby. . You give your all for those you love, don’t you, Khushi? Your heart is so big, Khushi … poori duniya usme samaa sakti hai. I know why Mr. Suri wants to make sure you’re secure. Because left to yourself, you will give away the clothes off your back for those you love.”

He put out a hand and touched her cheek gently. ‘For those you love.’ How he wanted to be included among that number. But first … he had to set Khushi free. And hope that she came back to him of her own accord.

If you love someone, set her free.

If she comes back to you, she is yours.

If she doesn’t, she never was.

She looked back at him, lost in the intensity of his gaze. Molten brown eyes stared into hazel green ones.

“I’m fine,” she whispered. She didn’t really know what she was saying, what she was answering to.

“And you will always be fine,” he murmured back. “That’s all that this means, Khushi.”

She nodded. His hand was still on her cheek, gentle, caressing, and it felt like her skin was on fire. She swallowed, her mouth feeling dry suddenly. He was close, very close … she could see the dark pupils dilating as his breath quickened, as he leaned closer … her breath quickened in tandem with his, and she put out her tongue to lick lips suddenly gone dry … and swallowed again when his gaze dropped to her tongue.

His cell phone beeped shrilly and they both jerked back to reality. Too soon, too soon, her mind screamed, but her heart seemed to have a mind of its own …

The registration process was started the very next day, and a few weeks later, with the firm registered in both names, the last of Khushi’s worries seemed to drop away from her shoulders.

*****

The day after the registration was complete, Mrs. Dewan called Khushi at the office.

“Has Arnav found somewhere for you to stay?” she asked and Khushi stared guiltily at the phone. She hadn’t even asked him … she had been too caught up in enjoying … life … she realized slowly. She had been enjoying her life … after many years, had been happy, content, able to push all her problems to the back of her mind and just revel in the sensation of being cared for, looked after, feeling secure for the first time in many years … feeling happy.

And Arnav did a lot of pampering. He made her feel warm, cherished, they talked all the time as they had always done, and she was slowly opening up to him like a flower to the sun. But he didn’t say anything like what he had said back in the hotel room in Kathmandu, made no attempt to get closer, and a part of her didn’t want him too – not yet. She was content to live in the present, not to have to worry about the bills, the medical fees … and to simply enjoy life, for the first time in many years.

One day at a time, she told herself, and Arnav seemed to feel the same.

But now her mother-in-law was pushing her.

“I’ll ask him,” she promised Mrs. Dewan, and was about to put down the phone, when a voice spoke behind her.

“Ask me what?” he asked, and as she looked around, startled, he took the phone from her and took over the conversation, chatting lightly, easily with Mrs. Dewan.

“Yes, I’ve found her a place,” he said casually, as Khushi stared at him in surprise. “But it’s not ready yet. Will take a little while. I’ll show it to you if you like. Whenever you want.”

He signed off and looked at her quizzically. She frowned at him.

“You never told me,” she said. “And what about showing it to me?”

He shrugged casually, but there was a glint in his eye. “I was going to,” he murmured, “but Aunty has to approve also, doesn’t she? There are a couple of places, actually – you have the final choice. We’ll go tomorrow.”

Khushi bit her lip and didn’t say anything. There was a slightly hollow feeling inside her, and she tried to ignore it. So Arnav had taken her words to heart, she thought … and realized how badly she had been waiting for him to say something … something very different.

Arnav watched her face as she looked blankly at the papers on her desk. He could read that face perfectly … he knew exactly what she was thinking, and he inwardly blessed Lavanya a hundred times. But now, he thought, as he looked at the play of emotions across her face, now, no more. No more waiting, no more games. He ran an impatient hand through his hair. He couldn’t wait any more. He wanted her … needed her – back in his arms, back in his life – forever.

Mrs. Dewan arrived the next afternoon and Arnav ushered her and Khushi into the car, his heart beating a little faster than normal. He took them first to a small block of flats very close to office, the apartments were new and very well finished, the security was good and there was a direct bus to office, although, he added quickly, Khushi could get a car of her own. Mrs. Dewan looked approving, Khushi was non-committal.

Arnav cleared his throat a little nervously.

“There’s another place,” he said. “it’s further away, but it’s bigger … shall we take a look?”

They agreed and he drove them to another building, a smaller one. Mrs. Dewan looked at it in surprise.

“This looks like a private house, Arnav,” she said. “Are there apartments inside?”

He swallowed and shook his head as he ushered them out of the car and to the front door. He pulled out a bunch of keys and opened the door, as both Khushi and Mrs. Dewan stared at him.

“This is where I live,” he said and Mrs. Dewan looked startled, then pleased.

“You live here? Then are there other apartments here too? Arnav, that would be perfect! I’d be so relieved that Khushi is with …”

“No, no other apartments,” he interrupted, his mouth dry, not looking at Khushi. “It’s my own house. I live here.”

 Mrs. Dewan was looking around approvingly at the furnishings, but at his words she stopped and turned quickly to look at him. As he held her look, his meaning sank slowly in. She looked at Khushi, who, after a first stunned glance, was looking anywhere but at Arnav – and caught the sheen of tears in her eyes. Arnav looked steadily at the two women. Mrs. Dewan drew in a deep breath, as comprehension came slowly. She paused, seemed to be searching for words.

“It’s Khushi’s choice,” she said finally, quietly, and put an arm around the younger girl. Khushi looked at her desperately, a sob in her breath.

“Mummy … I … Manish …”

“Manish is gone, beta,” said Mrs. Dewan gently. “And you have a life to live. A long life, God willing … And I want that life to be happy. God knows you deserve all the happiness in the world.”

She turned to Arnav.

“It’s Khushi’s choice,” she repeated, more firmly. “We … her baba and I … are there for her always. Nothing would make us happier to see her in her own house, with someone she loves, someone who will take care of her. That’s the wish of every parent. But it’s her choice. We just want her to be happy.”

She turned to Khushi again and kissed her gently on her forehead.

“We just want you to be happy,” she said again, smiling lovingly at the younger girl, and Khushi smiled waveringly back. Mrs. Dewan turned to Arnav.

“Arnav, will you take me back home, beta?” she asked. “I think you both need some time together.”

Arnav nodded, and she smiled at him and raised her hand to his head in silent blessing.

He had never driven so fast in his life. He dropped Mrs. Dewan back home, that lady wisely maintaining her silence, and then rushed back home.

She had left. Soon after he had, his servant told him.

Arnav stared nonplussed for a minute, then took off again, his heart racing.

He broke into the office and Lavanya looked up startled.

“You … here? I thought you’d be with Khushi …”

“Did she come here?” he asked harshly. Lavanya nodded, still looking surprised.

“Yes, she came … but she went off again … she said she needed to talk to you alone. Arnav, what happened? Did you show her …”

 “Did she say where she would be?” he interrupted, his face showing his worry. She looked at him, a little puzzled.

“She said you know where to find her … revisiting the past, she said.”

He looked at her, and his brow cleared.