Changing Shades - 18

Chapter 18 

A few weeks later:

Arnav entered the office and looked into Lavanya's room.

“Have you heard from her?” he asked. He asked the same question every day, and Lavanya's answer was the same.

Lavanya shook her head. “No news,” she said, worriedly. “She's not picking up her cell phone either. Arnav, she didn’t say anything to you about where she would be?”

He shook his head.

“She just said she needed a few days to herself,” he said, then in a wry tone, “I haven’t the right to ask her for any explanations, Lavanya. But it's been three weeks ... I thought she might get in touch with you …?” he tailed off as she shook her head.

“She will,” Lavanya said reassuringly, “as soon as she feels she can. She’s a very private person, Arnav. She doesn’t share her pain easily.”

She always did, with me, he thought silently, she shared everything with me. And that she doesn’t now, is all because of me, my bloody ego, my wretched jealousy. I’ve driven her away. I had another chance, and I’ve messed it up – completely.

To Lavanya, he nodded. Lavanya’s heart ached for him. He looked lost, hurt. Khushi’s silence was killing him. In an attempt to cheer him up, she asked, “How is Uncle Dewan?"

Arnav smiled briefly. “Better,” he said. “He's accepted Manish's going. The baby seems to be giving him a new will to live. They've settled into the new house. It's small, but enough for them.”

Lavanya nodded. Arnav had been busy ever since he had returned from Kathmandu. Mr. and Mrs. Dewan, with Pratibha and baby Soni were now settled in a small apartment very close to the nursing home, where Mr. Dewan still went for treatment. Arnav had taken care of all the arrangements and the move had been smooth, easy. Except that Khushi, on returning to Mumbai, had disappeared. Maybe she had told Mrs. Dewan where she had gone. Lavanya didn’t know, and Arnav certainly didn’t.

Arnav seemed to want to say something more, he seemed to be struggling to find the words.

“If she calls,” he said with difficulty. “Will you ask her to come back? To work, to the office? I know she said that she resigned, but even so. Tell her things will be different. She knows that already, but even so ... just tell her. She can continue the way she was with Mr. Suri. Nothing will be different.  Not till she’s … whatever way she wants … just tell her, Lavanya? Please?”

Lavanya nodded again. Then she took a deep breath.  She had seen the tension between Arnav and Khushi for so many months, she had been furious with Arnav for treating Khushi the way he had, but he seemed so lost without her, she found herself feeling sorry for him. He had been wrong, and he knew it now. And he seemed genuinely remorseful. Khushi might kill her for this, but she had to say it.

“Arnav?” she said, diffidently. “it’s none of my business but …”

He looked at her eagerly.

“Tell me,” he said softly.

Lavanya looked at his face and that made up her mind.

“She’s had a tough few years,” she said gently. “and she’s had to be the strong one all along. It would be great if she had someone to lean on, someone to take care of her. Without asking for anything in return. Someone to show they care for her, for herself alone. She’s done all the taking care and it’s been hard on her. Very hard.” She added.

Arnav nodded.

“I know,” he said bleakly. “I wish I’d known earlier, but … Lavanya, I will take care of her. I promise you. She’ll never be hurt again. If she just lets me into her life …”

“Don’t rush her,” advised Lavanya. Then she sighed.

“Look, Arnav, I really don’t know all the details of what happened between you and her, but from what I do know … you were friends, best friends, but never … you know … in the romantic way …”

He nodded, listening carefully. Lavanya took courage from the way he was following her words intently and went on.

“And then she got married … and that was a disaster from the word go. She’s never had someone to love her, to show her that he loves her … to court her, if you like … you know … the whole romance, falling in love bit … going out together, dates, dancing, someone looking out for her, being protective, caring … girls want that, you know. However independent we are, we love being treated like that. We love that feeling. The feeling of being the most important person in a man’s life, someone he will love, always be there for …”

She stopped, nervous suddenly, but Arnav looked at her seriously as her words sank in.

“I get what you mean,” he said slowly. “No, she hasn’t … thanks, Lavanya. You’re right. I … thanks. If only she comes back …”

If only, he thought … two words, and his whole life seemed to be hanging on them.

“She will,” said Lavanya reassuringly, and she meant it. Khushi would not be able to stay away from Arnav for too long, she knew that. There was too much unsaid, unfinished lying between them.

Lavanya was right. A few days later that Arnav got a call from Mrs. Dewan inviting him for dinner.

“Just you,” Mrs. Dewan told him. “My husband would really like to meet you again. The last time you met him, he was still very … confused … He’s much better now. Pratibha and Soni have helped so much. He really would like to thank you for all you’ve done … the house … everything. We didn’t celebrate Diwali, of course, but it was Soni’s first Diwali, so we thought … just the family. Please come, beta.”

Arnav was about to refuse when a thought struck him.

“Will … you all be there?” he asked awkwardly.

Mrs. Dewan’s tone sounded slightly surprised on the other end of the line.

“All, Arnav beta? It’s just us … the family. Pratibha, Khushi, Dewan sahib and me. And you … of course. You’re like family now, aren’t you? Don’t say no, beta.”

“Khushi …?”

“Yes, she’s back. Just got back yesterday. I was waiting for her to come, otherwise I would have called you earlier. You’ve done so much for us …”

“I’ll be there,” Arnav broke in, his heart racing. Khushi was back … but she hadn’t come to office, she hadn’t called him – she had gone to the Dewans. What did that mean? He put down the phone, his head whirling.